We are energy and the quality of that energy we all carry is more powerful than the words that we speak. So you don’t need to say a word before your energy state is felt by those around you (family, friends, colleagues) including your children.
Children will “feel” your state of mind. They know if you are upset, angry, joyful, carry resentment or jealousy, if you are sad or in a total state of bliss and contentment.
I have started to explain this to my parental clients since most of them are not conscious that their inner climate becomes the all-embracing climate in their children’s lives.
Essentially, children respond to your energy and not the words you speak.
So as a parent (or even non-parents) you want to ask yourself; ‘What kind of energy am I radiating’? What kind of feelings do I carry around?
Let’s run through some examples which I hope will assist you to understand this concept and help you to make the appropriate changes in your life.
My most recent client (Jack 14 months of age) started to show behaviours such as sleeping problems, food refusal and aggression. His parents brought him to be because they were worried about his nutrition. Though my specialised area is nutrition, I do believe in a holistic approach to care. So a child who refuses to eat has in fact nothing to do with the food, it is all about the family dynamic but more specifically, it is all about the parents, not the child.
This revolutionary approach to parenting is also known ‘Conscious Parenting’.
This concept is all about parents become conscious of how they project their own scarcity on to our children. If we operate from an inner sense of lack, we will look to fulfil our inner lack by controlling our children (our those around us). If you haven’t read ‘The Awakened Family’ by Dr Shefali yet I would strongly recommend you do.
Dr Shefali appeared on Oprah in 2014 and shocked the world with her ground breaking approach to parenting. Oprah calls her ‘The Best I’ve Ever Heard’. Enough about discipline, enough of seeing our children as ‘lesser than adults’ enough of what has been the traditional approach to parenting because this will never work if we want to raise whole, fulfilled and authentic children.
It turned out that Jack was picking up on his mothers energy. Women, in particularly mothers are constantly doing doing doing (Housework, cooking, food shopping, work, clean some more). Most mothers I speak with find themselves exhausted, overwhelmed and depleted. The state of constantly ‘doing’ affect their energy, their mood their level of patience and their level vulnerability is high. So if you imagine, if you have more negative feelings inside of you rather than positive ones, which ones are going to spill out into he world…onto your children?
1st Priority: Self-Care
So looking after your self is essential because if you don’t, how are you going to look after anyone else? Jack’s mother has started to incorporate self-care into her life on a weekly basis. She attends a weekly yoga class and she wakes up 10 minutes earlier, which allows her to reflect and connect to her own self. She has also started to eat healthier. After only 5 weeks the family noted a tremendous difference with Jack. He started to eat his meals and he sleeps better! He also seeks out his mother a lot more when he wants a cuddle. Jack is aware and feels that his mother is in a better state and that her energy is cleared up.
Jacks’ mother has let go of trying to control everything and does not react emotionally to Jack, instead she is controlling what she can:
Her Own Well-Being And Energy State.
Jack’s mother has learned that we can only give to someone else from the energy that lives within us. If anxious energy lives within you, anxious energy is what you’ll give. When joy, fulfilment, peace and gratefulness lives within me, your child (and everyone else) will be the recipient of this.
This quote explains it all so well..
“Who you are thunders so loudly, I can’t hear a word you say.” Emerson
‘Jack’ is not his real name. The family wish to maintain their anonymity.
I would love to hear from you so please comment below or share it with someone.